Tribulation: Toddler Tantrum in Sacrament Meeting

Today was hard.

I know that having a toddler and trying to make it through three (soon to be TWO!) hours of church is difficult, but today...it was just plain hard.

My Tiny Toddler

Tell wakes up every day for work at three in the morning. That's right: 3am! He  also works every Sunday. I am not complaining. At all. It's a sacrifice we, as a family, are willing to make at this point in our lives. It does mean, however, that most Sundays it's just me and an ever growing toddler that's still too young for nursery.

I love being a mom. I love being a mom. I love being a mom.

Declan goes through these weird sleep phases. He's also getting to that age where he's walking fast and talking loud which, in Sacrament Meeting, can be problematic. Today, he was screaming, running, crying, throwing toys across the aisle, basically every parents worst nightmare.

Ever since I was told that my kid was "a distraction" in Relief Society by a member of the Presidency, I've felt this anxiety with being at church with my kid. I know, logically, that not everyone hates me for the noise my kid makes. I now, logically, not everyone is glaring at me from behind, judging me and secretly hating my existence. And yet, I can't help but feel that way, especially after is was validated by at least one person. 

The sad, sad face of a cranky baby

Despite knowing that being in church for all three hours is spiritually beneficial, I just can't do it sometimes. Anyone else feel this way? I've got a screaming toddler pitching a fit, I know he's tired but he refuses to nap...what else am I supposed to do? Sit in the hallway wrestling a screaming toddler in the throws of a tantrum? 

After General Conference last week, I truly feel that this announcement that Church is moving to a 2 hour block and allowing for the focus to more in home centered gospel teaching is an answer to tear filled, stressed out, hair pulling prayer. 

In an effort to follow the counsel of the Prophet, we have already started to implement some of those things in our home. We have been reading scriptures every night, we pray together as a family every night with Declan before he goes to bed, we hold FHE on Sunday nights, we study scriptures on our own, and Tell wakes me up - yes at 3 o'clock in the morning - so we can pray together in the mornings before he leaves for work. What. A. Difference! 

Despite everything that makes going to church a struggle for me right now, I love that the Prophet has directed that we make our homes the center of our gospel experience. It helps me feel like I'm growing spiritually even when I can't make it through all three hours of church. 

Me and some night time tea 

So here's my Truth this for this week: The Prophet truly is a servant of the Lord. Heavenly Father gives revelation to His Prophet for the benefit of His entire church, even the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In these tumultuous times, our Father in Heaven is doing nothing but looking out for us, to help us and guide us in these latter-days that we might return to live with Him again. I love this Gospel, I love our Prophet, Russel M. Nelson (FYI, I rode the elevator with him once and he is the cutest, sweetest old man ever!). I know my Heavenly Father loves me and He loves you too! 

Till we meet again, 

TaNee